My Gentleman Caller

I had my first gentleman caller today. His name is Kostya and I had gone bowling with him earlier in the day. Then about an hour or two after I got home from that, he dropped in and brought me tulips. I had to have tea with him, with my mother giggling furiously in the next room and popping in now and then to offer more sweet biscuits and shit. The asshole ate all my sweetened and dried mango strips and didn't even let me take a photo of him with his tulips.

Kostya: Masha I am not a zoo.

Well... not a WHOLE zoo. You do resemble a hungry giraffe somewhat when you EAT ALL MY MANGO STRIPS. It was very bizarre though. He rang the doorbell, I opened the door and then was all like "What are you doing here?" but before he could answer my mother knocked me over and dragged him inside and took the flowers and put them in a vase and poured some tea and set out some biscuits and in a very ferocious whisper, she hissed "You entertain your gentleman caller and BE A LADY" It was like being caught up in some sort of perfumed petite hurricane. My attempts at being a lady were somewhat shattered when Kostya pointed out that my pants were unbuttoned. Oh oops. Whatever, they are high waisted, and so I unbuttoned them while I was at home! My mom didn't have to groan so loud from the living room.

I went bowling today. I fucking rock at bowling. It made me hate Russian biddies more though because they didn't even try. Two of them wore heels. To bowling. Oh bitch PLEASE. Meanwhile I bowled and smoked and drank and rabble roused with the guys and the girls just turned up their noses at us. When Stas got drunk and forgot to let go of the ball and slid half way down the aisle, I almost pissed my pants but they (and I'm pretty sure they were all called Nastya or Lena, Idk they aren't my friends) acted all embarrassed and shit. Please. Get over yourself. I took my grandfathers sick ass Nikon camera and took some nice pics... or I assume they were nice because I forgot to take off the lens cap cover. Oh. Well. See that's why pregaming is not always a good idea. I'll post some old pics though.